The Young & Restless: the elves

Friday, January 7, 2011

the elves

There was little doubt on the children's part that the Christmas Elves would find us this year.

I'm not sure what one does to ensure a place on the Christmas Elves' exclusive list, but we somehow manage to be on it every year. See, they bring you brand-spankin' new pajamas. For real. Right to your front door. It is amazing.

Sometimes new pjs on Christmas are kind of dull (especially when you realize that this is your one and only gift you get to open on Christmas Eve), but when you get new Christmas pajamas straight from the North Pole, well that's just a whole new ball of wax!

(feather boa not included, it just happened to look awesome)

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Jimmy's Sayings

Its time for Jimmy's own column. Here you will find interesting insights he has, word definitions, and some of his unique mannerisms.

"Oh, I am SO never going to do that. I am ONLY going to kiss MY wife on the nose."

J:"Woo, look. That is called Romance."

G: "Do you even know what Romance is??"

J: "Yes. Stuff that are beautiful."

"My game is called PROGRESS."

As we're finishing up dinner, Jimmy carries in a box of Chex cereal and pronounces, "Dessert is served!"

"I hate when things change."

"We should never go on a suspension bridge."

"Gracie, what church does Harry Potter go to?"

"My bunny ears are reverent."

"Mom, you know all about Costco."

"When I'm 9, my shoes will have to grow bigger."

He's finally decided on a career. He'll be Jimmer RocknRoller (but only when he's all "growned up")

A serious favorite cereal, Zeros (though you might know them as Cracklin' Oat Bran).

Goodbye, Scallowag

To express disgust he will use the following:
Craters
Bennett
Bumpers

As the Pigeon Men enter the world in Battle of the Smithsonian: Jimmy says, "Yeah Gracie, that's called Rhetorical." Gracie says, "yeah."

"I'm going to make my own garden and plant pancakes!!"

"My waffles changed. Now they are dead. I have to have a pancake."

He loves to count, but insists on particular pronunciation of certain numbers. Here are the ones you want to know:
1 - word
3 - fwee
5 - sivfe
8 - 'h'
10 - chaen
These trends continue as the numbers get bigger.

"Candy Cats" is one of his favorite chocolates. You might know them as Kit Kats.

To cross the street, he refuses to hold anyone's hand other than his own. He also insists on holding his own hands together when he's on a swing instead of holding on to the swing itself.

He refers to the Muppets as "Muffins."

He has adopted an Australian accent, though sometimes he goes Bostonian instead.

Grace-isms

Grace can be full of grace or sometimes just full of It! Here are some excerpts from her life:

Dad, what kind of an emergency would we need tangelos for?

To her brother, "I'm not going to follow your princely ways."

"My new hobby is attracting boys with all my beauty."

"I'm already famous, I'm on the computer."

"Did the world used to be just black and white?"

"I don't want to be a grown-up if I have to have bills."

"Today he said, 'Hey Baby.' I think he meant the love word."

"Let's talk about ball pythons. Like how it feels when they get wrapped around your shoulders and neck. Feels pretty good!"

"On your selfish days you aren't pretty."

"Ugggh wearing socks is so boring, Mom."

"I am going to be a mad scientist when I grow up."

"It is just so hard to answer questions when you are all sweaty."

"Is the Hokey-Pokey disco?"

"Mom, you are becoming a complicated woman."

"So many boys, so hard not to love."

"The Great Defender of Fun isn't here."

Nate: "Technology? What kind of technology are you talking about?" Grace: "Oh y'know, Girl Scout technology, Boy Scout technology, and the technology of Love."

"Y'know when we don't have gym and recess, its pretty gloomy."

"In the name of Rodger, what is going on here?!"

"Marshmallows may be bad for you, but they sure are good on a cold, snowy day."

"Peggle can be your best friend."

"I'm a restless girl, you know."

"I can't do a half-nelson, Daddy."

Nate: Who's the Sweetie - you or Buv?" Grace: "No silly, the Sweeties are all the human boys out there!"

"Don't worry Mom, everything is better in California."

"You know girls are emotional."

"I look just like a boy, except for my tattoo."

"Mommy, I have a hole in my mouth."

"Jimmy, you sure do have a big brain."

"I don't understand anything but Chicken Dumplings."

"Where is Tokyo? Is it in Pennsylvania?"

"He walked so fast - like a man going to high school."

"Who is the Queen of Shebis?"

"I'm just so sad whenever my ancestors die."

While contemplating our move to San Diego, "What language do they speak there?"

To me when she asked me to snuggle with her, "Please don't bump me off the bed because you are fatter than me and I am skinnier." I reply, "Grace I"m not fatter, I'm just bigger than you." She says, "Oh, I didn't know."

"I guess First Grade isn't so bad afterall..."

"Dad for Family Home Evening, instead of doing that Plan of Salvation thing, let's go to Pizza Hut instead."

"Please bless Mom that she won't be crazy..."

"Can we catch an armadillo some day?"

"Sometimes when my tummy hurts, junk food makes it feel better."

"Mom, please don't give me any consequences. I don't need any this time."

"Some air keeps coming out of my bottom."

To the babysitter: "I think we've been patient with each other long enough now."

"Mom, I think some fairy-dust just came out of my bottom. Wanna see? It must be magic!"

"Dad is the funniest Dad I ever had."

"Where did Jonah serve his mission? Was it Nevada?

"Yes Jimmy, you are the wildest boy in all of the Americas and ancient Egypt."

We point out Table Rock Dam to Grace in all its glory - water pouring, gushing out, creating lots of hydro-energy or whatever and she says, "Oh my, beavers built that!"

"Jimmy! You found your favorite numchucks!"

"Mom, when I am kissed by a boy, I am filled with delight and love."

"Mom, someday I hope to jump out of my skin." Can you tell she's been reading a little too much Calvin & Hobbes?

"James, one day Santa will be a person to you too."

"Mmmm, this snow tastes just like sugar. That's what December snow is made of!"

While opening a package sent from Grandma Geny Grace said, "What could it glory, glory be?!"

"Mom, pretty soon is it going to be Later?"

"Daddy if I were you, I'd be a girl."

While playing "I Spy" looking for something made of wood:

Me: "Is it a tree?"

Grace: "No, Silly! Trees aren't made of wood! They're made of paper!"

"Mommy, did you make it rain?" (I had no idea of the power she must think I possess!)

Grace: "When can we watch a show?"
Me: "Pretty Soon"
Grace: "I hope pretty soon its Pretty Soon."

"I know about Cheetos, Dad."

Grace: "My finger is bleeding again, very much!"
Nate: "Honey, it's not bleeding. There's no blood."
Grace: "Yes it is! This time it's bleeding without the blood!"

While seeing pictures from Nate's trip to DC, specifically Arlington National Cemetary:
Grace: "Daddy where are the pictures of the dead people?"
Nate: "Well, here's a picture of the grave stones."
Grace: "Yeah, I know. Where are the pictures of the dead people? Can't you just go and get them out? Just so you can check on them, then you can put them back."
Nate: "Ah, no."

During Sacrament Meeting to Jimmy (who was really not being reverent): "Buv (her pet name for him), you really need to start to learn how to be a gentleman."

One night while curling up with me to read a story, Grace rests against my shin, "Ouch! I think I just got stung by your leg!" (okay, so it had been awhile since my leg had seen a razor, but no fear all is well now)

Listenting to radio on the way to school the other day:
DJ: "How stupid can he be?"
Grace: Did he just say "stupid?"
Mom: "well, yeah, he did"
Grace: "Well, Mom, we just have to remember that he is a child of God."

"Mama, what do you want to be when you grow up a little more? I mean do you want to be a ballerina or a Native American?"

Friend: "What does your Daddy do? "
G: "Oh, he just takes bones out of people's heads with a tweezer." (not too far from the truth!)

The Young & Restless

Friday, January 7, 2011

the elves

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